At the beginning of Accidental Love a woman, played by Jessica Biel, is shot in the head with a nail gun (causing her to behave in an erratic and hyper-sexualised way. Hilarious, apparently).

Anyone who is unfortunate enough to watch the film would doubtless wish for a similar fate - anything is preferable to laying eyes on what amounts to an utterly unwatchable mess.

More dumbfounding still is the fact it boasts a multi-Oscar nominated director (David O Russell) and a stellar cast (including Biel, Jake Gyllenhaal, Catherine Keener, James Marsden and Tracy Morgan).

Biel plays Alice, who - after her ill-fated encounter with a nail gun - is rushed to hospital.

She is about to be operated on when surgeons discover she has no health insurance, so the nail is left embedded in her brain, resulting in sudden mood swings, an increased libido and, in a particularly absurd twist, causing her to spout impromptu Portuguese.

Obviously disappointed at this outcome, and in a pre-Obamacare America, Alice calls on local Congressman Howard Birdwell (Gyllenhaal) for help, and alongside a shamed priest with a permanent, medically-induced erection (Kurt Fuller) and an ex-bodybuilder with a collapsed anus (Morgan), she heads to Washington DC to campaign for people in her deeply unfortunate position.

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Jessica Biel and Jake Gyllenhaal is Accidental Love

Maybe, buried deep within this irredeemable train-wreck of a movie there is a smart, witty satire trying to find a way out, and perhaps Accidental Love's troubled production - which began in 2008 - goes some way to explaining the eventual outcome (Russell left the project after it hit financial difficulty and has since disowned it).

But an hour and 40 minutes of viewing the wince-inducing final product leaves one question: Why bother releasing it at all?

If a zero star review were possible, it would be a worthy recipient. 

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Accidental Love is out in UK cinemas on June 19.